Honouring …

Goedendag lieve lezers, deze blogpost gaat in het engels.

Dear readers, todays blogpost is in English.
For a special reason, disclosed soon.

As many of you know I like to work on many-layered and many-coloured backgrounds.
Today I show you something on a mono-coloured background and that also is because of a special reason.., disclosed soon.

Also today I show you a canvas I painted that went wrong because my paint was to thin to use with a stencil, but I tried it anyway ( and learned I have to buy some heavyweight acrylics or maybe ( if it exsists) some acrylic medium to make my paint heavyweight if I need it. The reason I show you a bad and yet unfinished painting will also be disclosed soon.
(How soon depends on how fast a reader you are.)

As some of you may know the past years have been very heavy for me, especially the last 4 years.
Since over 5 years I do take care daily for my demented mother. The plan was that I would do that alone for one year and a half, and then my husband would come to live with us and share the burden.
Well, that did not happen. After 42 years of being together he asked for a divorce because he had fallen in love with a woman that has plenty expierences with getting divorced.
First I was devastated, how must I cope with my chronically ill body without a husband who could do the odd jobs in our house? How would I be able to take care of my mother for many more years at my own?  How would I be able to pay for the house we did buy only 2 years before, me having no income at all?
I tried to find out what was wrong with me? Why did he leave me after so many years?
And then, slowly, my perspective changed. I came to the understanding that all those 42 years I had lived to make him happy. I started taking care for him when I was barely 17, after the loss of both his parents in a traffic accident and I never took the time to see further then his needs ( and the needs of our foster children). I did hide my talents under the beehive, not to outshine him.
Our divorve was not easy, I refused to be left without any money and during that troublesome divorce I did see things in him I realy hated. Thank God, because therefore my love for him was destroyed.
After much pain, fear and uncertainty I learned to be ME. I learned that there was nothing more important for me than to paint and be creative.

So now, age 61,I AM a mixed-media-artist. I have only sold 2 of the many altered books I have made, but I am still making more books, because I love to make them.
I have not yet sold one canvas, but I keep making them, for the joy of creating them ( and looking to them, most of them I like, at least for a few years and when I stop loving them there is gesso and repainting 😉 ). And I am honoured when family and friends ask me to give them one of my paintings offcourse.

Well, now to the disclosure of why this blogpost is different from earlier posts:

Untill now I have been unable to vent my hurt emotions in a painting. I could not visualize my hurt and anger in a visual way.
And then they were there: the new stencils made by Seth Apter ! (As you may have noticed form earlier blogs I am a big fan of his work and I love him for the care he takes to answer comments and emails reacting on his blog ( The Altered Page ).

In one of the new stencils is the word ‘enough’, I did read it’s meaning as ‘basta’, it has been enough, never more.
I knew I had to have that stencil and some more I wanted for a long time, but I had not bought them earlier because the manufacturer has no retailer in the Netherlands.
Now I was going to get them, anyway. Seth Apter helped me finding them and an adress where I could buy his new stamps ( the stamps are not yet available in the Netherlands, but they will arrive within a month I do hope).

So thanks to Seth Apter I can now show you a terrible painting I made about my life, the bleak  scared person I was and the creative strong person I am becoming. It shows the rosy clouds of the beginning, the bad fundament our marrige was based upon, a transition stage and the present. Thanks to the words Seth’s stencils gave me to finally express my feelings in a visuale way. THANK YOU SETH .

The second thing I show you , on monochromic paper, is something made with the other stencils designed by Seth.If I would have had the good paint it would do better justice to the quality of the stencils, but I do hope you will see anyway how much variations one could make with combinations of the insiders- and outsiders stencils designed by Seth.

once upon a time ... and NOW

once upon a time … and NOW

 

Insiders in Outsiders

Insiders in Outsiders

 

On the 5th of August I learned that there will be, in january 2016, a range of products ( stencils and dies)  designed by Seth via Stencil Girls, so to the THANK YOU SETH I add CONGRATULATIONS SETH !
And als a thank you to you, dear readers. Every comment is a motivation to carry on.

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8 thoughts on “Honouring …

  1. Heftig, Cécile, maar mooi! Een ‘happy end’ dat natuurlijk geen einde is, maar eerder een ‘happy beginning’. Ik wens je toe dat je doorbraak, overgang, transitie, whatever, je veel vreugde en innerlijke vrede mag geven!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Dear Cécile, Your painting reflects your emotions so beautifully and honestly. As I have experienced your troubles and struggles up close. I know how hard it has been and still is. Therefor I want to let you know that I admire your strength, your patience and the love you have for your mother. Despite your own sorrows you always have a listening ear and advise for me. I cherish our conversations and laughters and the love for art that we share. Leaves me to tell you that I am so proud to call you my friend. Huggs and kisses

    Like

    • Dear Monique,
      thank you for your kind words. They do touch my heart. I am also very happy and proud to call you my friend. I do hope we will have many artfully happy joyous hours together in the future.
      Hugs and kisses

      Like

  3. You have so much courage Cecile to share your story here, which will touch everybody who reads it. Your pages are very powerful and personal. And your words are so generous. I created these new stencils with the idea that the words would reflect the life experiences and emotions of many people. I am so appreciative that you chose to use them to reflect yours. Thank YOU! Seth

    Liked by 1 person

    • dear Seth, thanks for your kind words. I am so happy to be able to use your stencils. Many ways to use them are bubbling in my head. Your works and your design-creations are so inspiring, I am sure your new design-line will be a huge succes 🙂 Thank YOU again :).

      Like

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