Goedendag lieve lezers, deze blogpost gaat in het engels.
Dear readers, todays blogpost is in English.
For a special reason, disclosed soon.
As many of you know I like to work on many-layered and many-coloured backgrounds.
Today I show you something on a mono-coloured background and that also is because of a special reason.., disclosed soon.
Also today I show you a canvas I painted that went wrong because my paint was to thin to use with a stencil, but I tried it anyway ( and learned I have to buy some heavyweight acrylics or maybe ( if it exsists) some acrylic medium to make my paint heavyweight if I need it. The reason I show you a bad and yet unfinished painting will also be disclosed soon.
(How soon depends on how fast a reader you are.)
As some of you may know the past years have been very heavy for me, especially the last 4 years.
Since over 5 years I do take care daily for my demented mother. The plan was that I would do that alone for one year and a half, and then my husband would come to live with us and share the burden.
Well, that did not happen. After 42 years of being together he asked for a divorce because he had fallen in love with a woman that has plenty expierences with getting divorced.
First I was devastated, how must I cope with my chronically ill body without a husband who could do the odd jobs in our house? How would I be able to take care of my mother for many more years at my own? How would I be able to pay for the house we did buy only 2 years before, me having no income at all?
I tried to find out what was wrong with me? Why did he leave me after so many years?
And then, slowly, my perspective changed. I came to the understanding that all those 42 years I had lived to make him happy. I started taking care for him when I was barely 17, after the loss of both his parents in a traffic accident and I never took the time to see further then his needs ( and the needs of our foster children). I did hide my talents under the beehive, not to outshine him.
Our divorve was not easy, I refused to be left without any money and during that troublesome divorce I did see things in him I realy hated. Thank God, because therefore my love for him was destroyed.
After much pain, fear and uncertainty I learned to be ME. I learned that there was nothing more important for me than to paint and be creative.
So now, age 61,I AM a mixed-media-artist. I have only sold 2 of the many altered books I have made, but I am still making more books, because I love to make them.
I have not yet sold one canvas, but I keep making them, for the joy of creating them ( and looking to them, most of them I like, at least for a few years and when I stop loving them there is gesso and repainting 😉 ). And I am honoured when family and friends ask me to give them one of my paintings offcourse.
Well, now to the disclosure of why this blogpost is different from earlier posts:
Untill now I have been unable to vent my hurt emotions in a painting. I could not visualize my hurt and anger in a visual way.
And then they were there: the new stencils made by Seth Apter ! (As you may have noticed form earlier blogs I am a big fan of his work and I love him for the care he takes to answer comments and emails reacting on his blog ( The Altered Page ).
In one of the new stencils is the word ‘enough’, I did read it’s meaning as ‘basta’, it has been enough, never more.
I knew I had to have that stencil and some more I wanted for a long time, but I had not bought them earlier because the manufacturer has no retailer in the Netherlands.
Now I was going to get them, anyway. Seth Apter helped me finding them and an adress where I could buy his new stamps ( the stamps are not yet available in the Netherlands, but they will arrive within a month I do hope).
So thanks to Seth Apter I can now show you a terrible painting I made about my life, the bleak scared person I was and the creative strong person I am becoming. It shows the rosy clouds of the beginning, the bad fundament our marrige was based upon, a transition stage and the present. Thanks to the words Seth’s stencils gave me to finally express my feelings in a visuale way. THANK YOU SETH .
The second thing I show you , on monochromic paper, is something made with the other stencils designed by Seth.If I would have had the good paint it would do better justice to the quality of the stencils, but I do hope you will see anyway how much variations one could make with combinations of the insiders- and outsiders stencils designed by Seth.
On the 5th of August I learned that there will be, in january 2016, a range of products ( stencils and dies) designed by Seth via Stencil Girls, so to the THANK YOU SETH I add CONGRATULATIONS SETH !
And als a thank you to you, dear readers. Every comment is a motivation to carry on.